Sorry about that...

Yeah I know, I should be blogging everyday, but I have been super lazy and just haven't felt the need to. So much has been going on lately, I don't even know where to begin. Let's stick to the interesting stuff.

Tuesday night. Well, Tuesday afternoon. I decided to have lunch with Caridee. She owed me some money for watching Martini, so she took me out to the Big Daddy Diner. It is this adorable diner right north of Union Square. I wanted to get the chicken fingers, but they didn't come with fries. And besides, CariDee was going to be getting them, and if you know me, I hate hate hate hate getting the same thing as anyone else when out to eat. Just another thing to add to the list of reasons why I am not normal. So I got a cheeseburger. Once I said that, bitch decides she wants a cheeseburger too and orders the sliders. UGH. I was p-i-s-s-e-d off. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. Anyways, after that we went back to her apartment and just fooled around for most of the day. She cut my hair and at first I was not loving it, but now I am in love with it. She basically just shaved the sides and part of the top of my head, leaving a wide mohawk type deal. I feel like a rock star. We got dressed for the event we were going to and headed out. The event was the Heatherette / MAC Launch party. We all know how much I love Heatherette parties, but this one was not up to par. Apparently Angela and Vanessa from Run's house were there but I didn't meet them. I wish I did, they are so funny.
After that we went to this restaurant called something "Market" on sixth and 21st and met up with some girl friends of hers. They were all so hot, I was like Yes! We were sitting with some investors of the restaurant and ordered whatever we wanted and got it for free, it was pretty sweet. From there we went to the very fancy "Rose Bar" at the Gramercy Hotel. This place was sick, like everything was gorgeous, I could not get enough of it.


I am so tired right now, that I can not even finish this post. Stay tuned for more.

Absolutely, Definitely, Maybe.

Yesterday was one of those days. One of those all around feel-good days. I finally left my apartment during the day and went to therapy (I have been skipping the past few weeks...) I walked down there and listened to the Poon Pod on my way there. One of my favorite songs came on and all of a sudden my day just started looking so much better than it did a few minutes beforehand. I think its so incredible how much a song can brighten up your day. Has that ever happened to you? It happens to me sometimes, and I love it. You are just walking and then Bam! all of a sudden all your problems are left at the curb and you cross the street and you are just plain old happy. It's a surprisingly good feeling. If you do not have happy songs on your iPod, download some now and put them on there. They will make you feel better I promise. Of course the weather helped too. It had to be one of the nicest days ever. Seriously. I guess altogether the whole day was really great. After therapy I met up with Mike and went to the Duffy concert. Duffy apparently had been number one on the British pop charts for 6 weeks. Mike and I stood right in front of the stage. It was amazing. She sounds like Amy Winehouse, but is way cuter. Her songs were all very, you know, lounge-y. Altogether a very good day.

I was going to write about today and how it was a little colder out but I'm kinda over typing right now. So here you go with another short summary. Woke up, got lunch with Hunter at TGI Fridays (actually delicious) , saw Definitely Maybe (was so cute, I cried like a baby), came back here and spoke with Dilley for like 2 hours which was nice. We haven't chatted in a while, so it just felt nice to have civil conversation with no judgment involved. See, we are evolving. It was a good sign for the future.

Two good days in a row, wow! Tomorrow should be good too; I'm getting lunch with Frank and then probably going out with him at night. I'm pretty excited about it.

Tonight is the night, people. Make it yours.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

I would love to be in the mood to tell you every detail of Saturday night but I am still in pain from it so I would rather not. I'll give you the edited version. Please excuse the fragmented sentences. Went over to Jason and JJ's for drinks before going out. Drank a lot. Annelise Midland and her friend Vera stop by. People who were there: JJ, Jason, Me, Dan, Ken and Will (Brian's old roommate.) Go to barrage, meet up with Chris Van D and his friend Ebonne (pronounced like Ebony,) drink a lot. Do a "red headed slut" which apparently has Jager in it. We head towards Vlada and I throw up on the street so I can be able to drink more later on. We get inside Vlada, get a drink. Upstairs, dancing, I pick up a girl and swing her around and pull something in my neck. It hurt so bad that I left. It still hurts awfully bad.

Yesterday i went grocery shopping with JJ and Jason. In NJ. It was weird cause it was right by the Dilley's. Like I knew exactly where I was. I keep telling Mrs. Dilley that I will be coming out there at some point but it hasn't happened yet. I really should fix that. Anyways, we head back into the city and i have to lay down for the rest of the day because I was in so much pain. Throwing out your neck is never a good idea. A few people suggested I smoke some pot but thats just gross. Smoking pot makes me vomit. Also, we all know how I feel about that. Anything that my roommate Emily would do on a regular basis is obviously not a good thing to be doing. Ha ha.

Still in pain today, but it is St. Patrick's Day and I am going to see some Irish singer at Hiro with Mike Lombardo. We haven't hung out in like, forever, so it should be a good time. Before I get to that I have to clean up all the shit Emily left around the apartment, including a bag of broken glass in the sink, pile of dog shit in the hallway next to my room, and most of the dishes in the sink. She's gone for a week for spring break, so if anyone wants to come over and party, let's do it!


Get drunk today, people!

Long time, no type.

So it's been two days since my last nondescript post. I guess I have just been quite on the lazy side lately. (Slash hungover hardcore) So Thursday night, Chris Van D, from Tulsa OK, was coming into town and staying at my apartment for the night, and as soon as he got in we were ready to go out. I bought us a bottle of Svedka and some mixers and we finished it within an hour. It was a messy night, that is just the beginning. So we go down to PopRocks and he immediately buys us a round of drinks. Halfway into it I'm all like "uh oh spaghetti oh" and I rush to the bathroom to very gracefully empty out my stomach by way of my mouth. Nice way of putting it, huh? But if you know me, you know I can get my act right back together after that. I got myself a water and another drink and partied my ass off. Saw a few people I knew, but don't really remember which ones. I just remember that I knew people there. From there I wanted to show him something a little more glamorous so I take him to my stomping ground, Marquee. We get a few free drinks there and the music is banging! It was so good. While waiting for Chris to come out of the bathroom, I "accidentally" drop a glass and break it. I am thrown out exactly ten seconds later. As I am being kindly escorted out, I see the door people who love me and they are all like "Do you want to go back in?" and I am like uh uh, I was way too drunk and didn't want to embarrass myself anymore. I text Chris to come outside and we start walking towards maybe getting a cab. I then think that we should try going into Bungalow 8. I mean I have had a lot of good luck getting in there now, so I guess they know who I am. Cause we walked right in. First people I see are Mary Cary (Katie Edmonds) and Bess K. Hot messes. WE do a few rounds of shots and head out. The rest is a mystery.

Waking up was not a fun thing. I had to be over at Caridee's at 10:30 am. Of course that was not happening, and I got over there around 12. We walked Martini and went over to the puppy park. Yesterday was gorgeous. Like it had to be at least 55 degrees out. Seriously. I'm not lying. After that we got lunch, I got a turkey burger. Turkey burgers are slowly becoming my favorite food. (Just to let you know.) We rushed back to my apartment cause Chris had to get to his hotel and all his stuff was here. So we got his stuff, I walked him back to his hotel, and then showed him and his "roommates" to the closest H&M. Don't get me started. I guess they don't have them in Oklahoma, so going to one is kind of a big deal. I hate that GD store. It's all cheap looking and not cute. I may not have the most expensive or nicest taste in the world, I still wear shirts from high school, but I would never get anything from there. It's so not me. Any who, I leave them there, go back to walk Martini a few more times and watch movies for the rest of the night. Oh and btw, I was extremely hungover the whole day. Like beyond hungover, I felt like I ran into a wall at least fourteen times.

I woke up today still hungover so I laid pretty low. Watched a few more movies and walked Martini a few times. Went to the puppy park twice.

I am so tired now but I must go out tonight! I'll get a red bull or something. Wish me luck.


Oh I talked with Frank today, he's in Vegas and loving it. Well loving what he remembers!

Nighty night.

Blahdy Blah Blah

It's encouraging to me how many views my blog has been getting. No point in blogging if no one is going to read it.

I went out last night. Spent way too much money. Not a whole lot to say, besides I had fun and was with lesbians. They brought me to a lesbian party unknowingly and I was literally the only person there with a real penis. I knew there were some def FTM's (Female-to-Male) there. It was so confusing, because some of them were so cute. It kills me.

Top Model is still kind of boring me. I only like a few of them. The fat one is my favorite. Weird right?

Feeling kind of sick, got the sniffles. Sorry about the boring post.

Sunshine after the rain

You're the cure against my fear and my pain.... cause I'm losing my mind when you're not around....


Okay, I'll stop. It's stuck in my head. Leave me alone. But come on, how much do you miss boy bands? I sure do. Like Nsync and Backstreet Boys were amazing. I probably still know every word to every song on Nsync's "No Strings Attached" album. Does that make me a loser? No. Well, maybe. Get over it.

Well the reason I called this posting "Sunshine after the rain" is because it is so nice out today as compared to yesterday and the day before just being cold and gross and rainy. Ew. I went to lunch with Hunter today at HK across the street. I had a delightful Turkey and Brie sandwich. Tasty Delicious! New catch phrase. Use it.

I watched "V for Vendetta" last night with Caridee and Nick. Great movie; I had seen it once before with Nicole Bethell. It made me think about her for the first time in a while. I really have made a conscious effort to just erase her from my memory. Long story short, we were best friends, she found out I was doing drugs and stopped talking to me, we made up after I backed down a bit on the drugs, then the accident happened, she visited me in the hospital everyday, I get out of the hospital, she decides to not be my friend anymore, she apologizes a while later, a week after that she goes into a fit about how I should kill myself and that the accident was my fault. Since then I just can't even think that I would be friends with someone like that. So I decided that no matter what I will never let her back in. Because of that experience I have become more cautious with people that I am friends with. It takes me a lot more to invest my whole self into a friendship because how do I know they will be there for the long run. Natural feelings right?

Tonight I am going to dinner with Frank. I'm rather excited. Like I don't know. This giddy feeling is so much fun. I missed it. I have a feeling that I am not oging to get fucked over this time and that's a nice feeling.


Definitely getting some kisses later.

:-D

Martini Shakin' and Stirred.

So I guess it's been a while since I have posted a blog. I wanted to do it everyday, but I missed two. Shut up. I am allowed to take a few days off. Deal with it.

So I went out Thursday night with Jason as planned. We went to PopRocks for dollar drinks from 10-11. It really is the best invention ever. I stocked up on drinks and had about 8 or 9. Got a few after dollar drinks ended but who cares about that? Jason finally rolls in with Nikki and Ilana and some other girls he graduated from. Nikki and Ilana are two of my favorite people to see so I was like freaking out. They just drive me wild. Drew Rosner then calls me and is like "where you at?" so I tell him to meet us there. He shows up and we are all having a blast when he recommends we go to some new gay party called Ultra. It was god-awful. Like really bad. We sit at some guys table and start drinking from his bottle; Jason at this point is so fed up with the disgusting-ness (not a word, I know) of this party and decides to leave. Bye Jason. At this point Drew and his friends are all like lets go somewhere else, so I am like why not Cain? So we head over there and they tried to charge us because it was 2:30 in the AM, so I say why not Marquee? They see me walking up and just open the rope and are like "Hey Jonny!". I love it. The back room on Thursday nights apparently has amazing music. It was fun.

Didn't make it to Brooklyn that night, but I did the next night! Friday night was mine and Drews planned night out. Friday day was kind of a waste. I walked Martini a few times ate a few meals etc... Kinda boring. Watched some movies. Oh about Martini. He is this little shit of a dog. About two pounds and so annoying. When he shakes, his whole front half shakes and then his back legs begin to shake. It grosses me out. Like for reals.

Back to Friday night. Drew and I drink a bit at Caridee's and then head to Sugarland in Williamsburgh. Not a great turnout. Music was...eh. But Frank shows up! (Frank is amazing first date guy that I met at brunch that lives in BK) That was exciting. We end up heading to the bar his roommate is at. Drew and Franks friend come along too. It was a fun place with a cute backyard. We stay there for a while and then Drew decides he wants to go home. I get him the directions to the Subway and at that moment it is decided that I will be spending the night in Brooklyn! I was thrilled. So blah blah blah we get back to Franks apartment, and you know, kiss kiss kiss for a while and that's it! I'm proud of me. It shows that I actually do like him. I do. I like him. He knows it. :-) I still don't know where its going or what it is but I like it.

I spent most of the day Saturday at Franks and he cooks me brunch. Wow, well we all know food speaks to me, and he makes food very well. Major plus! He is so cute, I love it. Like all we do is laugh, it's ridiculous. And so much fun, btw. I get back to the city a bit later, walk Martini a few times. God he's so annoying. Watch some more movies.

I was supposed to be up so early today to head to Staten for my little sisters' birthday parties and the St. Patrick's Day parade on the island. I slept till about 3 PM. I felt bad. I spoke with Emily and she isn't too upset, but i still feel bad that I didn't make it. I'll head over on Weds for her actual birthday.

So tired for some reason. I'm just going to watch some movies and relax for the day. i feel kind of sick too. It sucks.

:-)

My nailbeds suck.

Such a lazy two days. Yesterday I basically laid around all day till about 9pm when Hunter came over. We watched project runway. OMG so effing happy that Christian won. If he didn't I was gonna find Nina Garcia and smack her goofy smile off her face. I literally yelled when they said he won. I did like Jillian's stuff, too, but it was nothing in comparison to Christians. Rami's was blah. I didn't care for much of it. I agreed with Michael Kors about the color schemes. They were just wrong.

I ended up staying up till about 4:15 talking to Scotty. That was fun. We always have good chats and we really talk about almost everything. If an outsider were to listen in at certain points they might think we were some type of crazy.

Woke up today and hauled my ass over to Caridee's apartment. I'll be staying here through Monday, while she and her boyfriend, Nick, will be in Vegas. They got cable and internet, which is amazing! So I brought my comp and my laundry over here and I'll be set for the weekend. Martini, their dog, who is normally an asshole, is actually being quite good. Surprisingly. I left the cats at home and asked Emily to feed them and I'm sure she will. I am just hoping she doesn't feed them all the food and I have to go buy more of it. That'd suck.

I am going out tonight to see Jason from ten to about eleven and then hopefully I'll be heading out to Brooklyn to see you know who. Hopefully.

I am probably gonna nap now. Kisses later. I hope.

I know, right?

Last night was AMAZING. I went on what I guess would be considered a first date. And I loved it. It was probably one of the best first dates I have ever been on. I left feeling good and I feel like he did too. i am not going to get my hopes way up, because I have learned that when you do that, everything just comes crushing down on top of you. His name is Frank and I met him at brunch on Saturday. I was drunk he was drunk and I thought he was cute and blah blah blah we end up exchanging numbers and blah text text text blah blah we are talking online and blah blah we set up the date. He is awfully sweet and he thinks I'm funny and that is always a great start. Awfully cute too. Doesn't hurt. If you checked out my latest picture installments on Facebook and / or MySpace, he is the one in the pictures with me. Second date is set up and bam!

On to other things. Do you ever feel like the people around you are changing and sometimes you don't like what they are becoming? Although they might be happier or a better person, what they are just isn't appealing to you, personally, anymore. It's been happening to me with a few different people lately. I am happy for them but who they are now isn't the type of person I would necessarily like to be friends with. Who knows? I could always get used to the changes, and Lord knows I have changed a bit over the years and some people have remained quite loyal. Namely Christian. He is probably my best friend and he doesn't care what I do or how I do it as long as I am happy. So that, in and of itself, makes me happy. I guess I should be like him in that way in regards to my friends who are changing, but I am not him. I guess I haven't done anything so drastic as to turn him off from me. I am not saying that I do not want to be friends with these people I just view them in a different manner on my friend spectrum. Whereas they used to be way up there, they are now falling. Slowly, but still falling down that ladder. Of course, I still care deeply about them and wish them the best, i just don't see where I fit in with them anymore. I hope this all makes sense, cause I am just typing what I am thinking and who knows if my thought are ever cohesive.

I don't even know anymore. I am happy one minute and then depressed the next. Maybe not depressed, more of a blank feeling. I really need to stop skipping therapy appointments.

I would ask if anyone would want to make out, but right now, I sort of just want to make out with one person in particular. I miss that feeling. Ah, it's good to have it back.

The calm before the storm

First off, is it weird that I always blog naked? I would have to say that at least 75% of all these blogs have been written while I was undressed. Just a side note, really.

Yesterday was probably one of the best days ever. It started with lunch. I met with Hunter at Room Service. Always a good time there, but still I would have rather been at Spice (it had a wait, whereas R.S. was basically empty). The whole point of meeting up with Hunter was to get AIDS tests. So to procrastinate, we got lunch.

We finished our meal and then decided to get some Pinkberry, I always get the original flavor, medium sized with strawberries, kiwi and granola. It is so delicious; if you haven't had it yet go to Pinkberry right now and get some. We then walked over to a clinic that James Coppola told us about. We went in and they sent me up to a teenager program because I am 21 (that was the cutoff age; also that program was cheaper). They took some information and set up a test later on in the afternoon. Hunter was downstairs in a less cool area and also got an appointment for later on in the afternoon.

We had about 2 hours of time to kill. Thank God the weather was so beautiful. Seriously, yesterday had to be like 50 degrees. And it was sunny. The clinic is on 18th and 9th so we decided to walk over to the water. We walked up and down the edge of the water, through Chelsea Piers and up to a park. It was just so peaceful and relaxing. Exactly what we needed before we went to get tested. We were both nervous, as neither of us had been tested in a while.

A little bit about Hunter. I love the guy. He is one of those people that if you are his friend he is just so amazing. Through his new sobriety, I am feeling encouraged to live a more sober life as well. I thank God everyday that I have him in my life. We laugh and joke a lot, but underneath it there is a sincerity that is just really rare. I guess that is why we hang out a lot. We can just talk without any sense of judgment between us.

So we are having a great day but now it was time to go back and get tested. Hunter went first and then I went a half hour later. It was probably one of the most stressful hours ever. He told me all about the questions they asked him and what they did and how they did it. I was sitting with him when the lady came out and said "Hunter, I have your results." He want back to the room and came right back out less than a minute later smiling. Negative. Awesome. One down and then it was my turn. I had this guy, who was actually pretty cute, administer my exam. He didn't ask that many questions and the whole thing went by pretty quick. Just a prick on the finger and I was done. The twenty minutes of waiting was pretty stressful for me. I was trying to joke around with Hunter saying "If you don't have it, there is no way I do." etc... The guy came out and just pointed to me and did that thing they did on Sex and the City when Samantha got her results. Didn't even say my name or anything. So I am like freaking out, and I sit down and he goes "Negative." Oh yeah! No AIDS for me. I was ecstatic.

We decided to get Billy's Bakery as a celebration. Phil, who used to work at the Big Cup, was working there and he gave me and Hunter a huge discount. Could the day get any better? We ended up walking down a little ways along the pier and it was just glorious.

We hung out for pretty much the rest of the night. It was just one of those amazing days.

Today I wake up at 11:15 to the construction across the street. So I am like, okay, let's get up and have a productive day, but not before I sleep for another ten minutes. Oh no! God forbid I get those ten minutes. Hunter calls me exactly at 11:16. God. Right? He says he is around the block and I need to get up and ready for breakfast. I cave in and do it. We went to Vynl and got some delicious breakfast.

He had two hours to kill and we both wanted to see Vantage Point. We just made the 1:00 showing and watched the movie. It was P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L. Besides that Forrest Whitaker. I HATE HIM. No actor should be that ugly. He literally looks and sounds like Yogi the Bear. Every time he was on screen I could not take him seriously. He is just disgusting and looks like a fat seal. The way he smiles, his ears, just everything about him disgusts me.

Anyways, we leave the movie and it is raining out. I didn't even mind it. It was nice this morning and the rain seemed refreshing.

I know this blog is getting long so rather than write about what I am going to be doing tonight, I will just write about it tomorrow.

Kiss kiss?

Cages.

I swear, this cage that I bought was worth every single penny. I have gotten a good nights sleep every night, and I even took a nap yesterday without any trouble. I barely ever have to see the cats! My life is so much more peaceful; if you have cats, get a cage! It'll save your life, I swear. They kill you in your sleep, I hear. They also make you schizophrenic. CAGE YOUR CATS!!!! It's my new campaign. If I ever become president, if I can't get a bill killing all cats passed, I will try and get one at least saying they must be caged half the day! Ha ha.

On to today. I went apartment shopping with Blaire. Great place, but so far away. It was up on 135th and Madison. Pretty much, it was in the Bronx. I absolutely loved the place and if I had my money now I would probably take it. Well, I would look around a bit more first. It was only say 400 more dollars than what I am paying now but it was way bigger and I would have the whole place to myself sans cats. How perfect. I was going to write purrrfect, but that would have been cheesy, right?

Anyone want to make out? Let me know.

Brunch and Bowling.

So here is a recap of last night and today. I'm on the tipsy side and you will soon find out how this all happened.

Ok so last night. I am sitting at home and I'm all like let's go to bed early. So yeah. Then I call Todd, because he is back in town for the week, to see what we would be doing Saturday night (tonight, now). He basically tells me to just come over to his apt on the border of Brooklyn and Queens. So I, having nothing else to do, get in a cab to 14th street and take the L out to him and his sisters apartment. I drink on the way out and then continue to drink on my way out. Turns out someone there had a little present for me. It begins with a "P" and makes all your pain go away. Just what I needed. Like I could go to the doctor and get them for myself but I'm far too lazy. Anyways, we end up drinking like a lot. At say 2am, I turn to Todd and we decide to go to Sugarland. We get there at 2:15ish and stay until close. I end up making out with quite a few good looking guys. I was proud o' myself. We continue to drink there, at this point we are pretty pretty hammered and then we decided we wanted food. On our way to the Pizzeria on Bedford, this little troll starts talking to us and following us. We sneaked out of the Pizzeria while he was ordering his pizza and went to the bagel shop instead. Mission Escape Troll was a success!

I decided to sleep over in BK on their couch. We ended up stealing a large traffic cone and a sign advertising Newport cigarettes on our way back to the apartment from the subway. Todd's sister and her girlfriend were not too pleased about that (we threw them outside in the morning).

So we wake up at say 11. We all woke up at the same time, weird right? So obvi, brunch is the main topic of conversation. We are all extremely hungover and need more to drink.

We trek our way back to Manhattan and go to this ADORABLE place on Ave C and 9th street. I forget the name of the place, something like the sun burnt cow? I know, I know, I never go that far east, just this once, I promise. Was tres adorable though. And the food was delicious. 15 dollars for all you can drink and your meal. It was OOC. I got Eggs Benedict on top of crab cakes and OMG, like they were prob the best eggs I had ever eaten. The unlimited Mimosa's, or as they called them "Moo Mosa's, were flowing and we kept on a drinkin'.

Turns out the girls next to our table were just as crazy as us and we ended up chatting with them the entire time. We did a few toasts for the restaurant and even convinced our hot bodied waiter to lift up his shirt and expose his gorgeous physique. Took tons of pictures, too. Hopefully Todd will send 'em in my direction. The crazy girls suggested we go bowling and we all jumped at the opportunity. But before we left, the manager, who loved me, decided to give us all some more free rounds of Mimosa and free shots. Like we got F-U-C-K-E-D up.

We end up walking over to University and 13th to go to Bowlmor lanes. On the way we were being quite crazy and asking every decent looking person we saw to come bowling with us. One of the crazy girls fell over a few times! So I see this cute couple and ask them to come bowling. They were so sweet and declined very kindly. I look closely at their faces and it turns out to be Piper Perabo. You know, the girl from Coyote Ugly. i love her.

So we go bowling and I crush everyone. I don't think there were more than 2 frames in which I did not get a strike or a spare. I was impressed with myself. I barely do that well when I am sober. It was such a good time.

Like seriously, this is just what I needed, an all around good time with no drama and no issues. I loved it. So I guess my slowing down on the drinking has been kind of successful. I hadn't drank since Sunday before yesterday, so that's pretty good right? I prob won't go out tonight either.

Back to watching some DVR. Yeah I'm that cool.